The Wedding Toast

Two weekends ago, I was the unofficial wedding coordinator and the non-existent matron of honor to my best friend Cindy (more on Cindy's wedding later).


Regardless of the title, I gave a toast, as I was not about to give up my only chance to congratulate my best friend in public. My speech was well received, there were quite a bit of laughs throughout my toast, and at the end of it, I think I saw Cindy's eyes glistening with tears.


I have been to many weddings myself where sometimes the toasts were so long that they were unbearable.  Part of the reason is because most people dread public speaking. In fact, in one of the surveys, making a public speech is the #1 fear for most people! I cannot believe that making a public speech is actually feared more than death!


So I thought I share what I think are the elements of a good speech for a toast. I am talking mostly about content. As for introduction, body language and delivery of the speech, please refer to: http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Wedding-Toast


Here are some Do's & Don'ts:


Do's:

1. Prepare for what you want to say ahead of time. Rehearse it, and time yourself.
2. Tell people who you are, how you're related to the bride or the groom. It's important for people to know your relationship with the bride or groom, because it makes your speech that much more relevant.
3. You can share with people your first impression of the bride or the groom, including anecdotes, if any.
4. Add some humor to your speech, if appropriate.
5. Use short stories or imagery to demonstrate your points.
6. It's OK to make fun of yourself.
7. Be sincere and genuine.
8. End your speech with well wishes for the couple.

Don'ts:

1. Don't read from your writing. It's OK to use little cue cards with highlights or bullet points.
2. Don't have a long speech. People have short attention span. It's generally good to keep the speech under 3 minutes.
3. Don't embarrass the bride or the groom. Although it's OK to poke a little fun at them, if you know that this won't upset them in public.
4. Try not to get overly emotional and cry while delivering your speech, because it makes your speech hard to understand.

Next time when you ask people to raise the glass, hopefully it leaves a warm, fuzzy feeling to the people whom you're toasting.